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”Mr Bennet staggered drunkenly into the breakfast room after a break fast of Rum and Porter in roughly equal proportions. “Oh don’t be so reticent dear, One can not have sentiments where marriage is concerned, let the Gentleman sample the merchandise.” Eliza fumed, “He desires to sample me not wed me.” “Indeed I do not,” Mr D’arcy sighed, “I merely wish to shoot your Peasants, I mean Pheasants.”“Then why have you a trouser bulge Mr D’arcy?” Mr Bennet observed.“Father!” Miss Eliza declared, “Do you really expect me to conjoin with Mr D’arcy without a promise?”“Oh really Mr Bennet,” Mrs Bennet declaimed, “Would you let just any Gentleman sample your daughter without a promise.” “Actually,” Eliza observed, “Now you mention it his trouser bulge looks most promising.”“Come on man, make a promise,” Mr Bennet ordered.“Very well, ten guineas and ten more if she pleases me,” Mr D’arcy offered.“Done,” Mr Bennet agreed delightedly, “Ring my bookmaker forthwith.”“Father the Telephonograph has. He retrieved the vacuum cleaner from acupboard under the stairs and walked into the ground floor sales area.He began to work quickly with the cleaner making sure that he didn'tmiss a single spot on the carpet. As he moved he could feel the pleatedskirt swirling around his thighs giving a display of his pink frillypanties and the garters of the matching suspender belt. As each of theyoung sales girls arrived they would call out his name and give his assa sharp slap as they passed. He was careful to say thank you to each ofthem as he knew that failure to do so would result in a demerit in thepunishment log that Abigail kept to record all of his transgressions.Having completed the task he packed away the cleaner carefully andchecked his appearance in the mirror on the back of the door that ledback onto the sales floor. Confident that he would pass any inspectionhe walked back into the store. A sharp voice however stopped him in histracks."Where do you think you're going?"Abigail was.
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